Peter had only worked for the company for three days and shared his office with two much older men, Brian and Mick. The pair were great pals and had been with S.B. Jacobs and Partners for decades, often spending their free time in each other’s company. On the third day, Peter noticed something on Brian’s desk and, being an inquisitive sort of guy, he asked what it was.
Brian picked up the little square object with a small white plastic bone on top, and beneath it was a small brass plaque with the words, "The Bone of Contention." Brian smiled. ‘It’s the bone of contention,’ he said. ‘It’s a little joke.’ He plucked the bone from its plastic mount and held it between the fingers and thumb of his right hand. ‘A bone of contention,’ he continued, ‘is a subject that causes continuous disagreement. I thought it was funny to actually have something that was literally the bone of contention.’
Peter smiled back. ‘Ah, I see. How long have you had it?’
Brian pondered the question. ‘I bought it at a joke shop about ten years ago.’
Mick looked up from his paperwork. ‘You know, Brian,’ he said, leaning back in his chair and pointing his pen at the object. ‘I actually own half of that bone of contention.’
Brian frowned. ‘What on earth do you mean?’
‘If you remember,’ he said, ‘I lent you half the money and the shop only accepted cash because its card machine was broken.
Brian shook his head. ‘You’re wrong, my friend. If you had lent me the cash, I certainly would have paid you back.’
Mick grinned. ‘But you didn’t.’
Brian pulled the bone towards his chest. ‘I don’t believe what you’re saying. I always pay my debts.’
Mick opened his drawer and pulled out a small black book. ‘When I loan money to someone,’ he said, ‘I make a note of it inside here.’ He tapped the book before flicking through the pages, stopping halfway through. ‘Here it is in black and white. Brian owes me £2.50 for the bone of contention.’
Brian stood and tossed the bone aside. ‘Preposterous. If I had borrowed the money, and I only have your word for it I did, I’d have paid it back.’ He waved a dismissive hand. ‘Either I didn’t borrow the money, or you forgot to delete it from your …’ He pointed at the book. ‘Shylock’s account book.’
Mick jumped up. ‘Are you calling me a liar?’
Brian glowered at him. ‘If the cap fits.’
Mick moved towards his friend. ‘How dare you! You loaned the money and didn’t pay it back, you bloody … freeloader.’
‘Freeloader!’ I’ll give you freeloader.’ Brian said.
As Brian moved around his desk, Peter jumped to his feet and got between them, holding the pair at arm's length. ‘Lads, lads,’ he said. ‘Don’t let the bone of contention become the bone of contention.’
But they would have none of it, and as Peter stood there holding the two at bay, they continued to hurl abuse at each other until a senior manager arrived and led them away.
Peter left the company soon after, by mutual consent, and Brian and Mick never spoke to each other again.
No one knows what happened to the bone of contention.
John Regan, 2021.